Why is 40 the magic number?

I did it...I committed to 40 hours a week after 7 years of part-time. On one condition, that I can work 3 days from home. My new boss has to check with his boss but says he thinks he will go for it to get me off of my part-time schedule. It is with the same company, same dept. just a different manager. I have never worked directly for him, but I have known him since I came to work there 8 years ago, and I like his management style MUCH better than my current boss...His employees speak highly of him. You don't find that everyday. And that is certainly not the case with my manager.
He had a job posted, and I went in to ask if he could use a part-time person, and he brought up full-time. When I said, "no", he asked would I consider it if he could get me some work at home days. I panicked after I told him I would do it, but over the past couple of days I have thought about it. If it doesn't work out, then it wasn't meant to be. I have to find childcare for 2 extra days AND his boss has to say yes, so we will see...
I said yes because quite franky, I am tired of being broke! I made the sacrifice to stay home with my kids, and we did okay for a few years, but after hubby got laid off and got shafted by someone he was trying to start a business with, we started going down. We have struggled ever since. He and I discuss full time from time to time, and he says he wants what is best for the kids and ultimately leaves the decision up to me. The problem is, I am the primary breadwinner (working full-time, that is). I struggled for years wishing I wasn't. Wishing I could be a full-time stay at home mom...even resenting him at times. But he never forced the issue of me working.
Can I get on my soapbox for a moment? Thanks
Society has made it nearly impossible for women to make the choice of being a full-time stay at home mom. Now, I believe working outside the home is usually a personal choice, but our tax system, the women's libbers, and many times, the fathers, have put so much pressure on women. We are educated now. We can make almost as much as our male counterparts (that is another soapbox for another day!) In many cases, we are the primary breadwinners. Men just don't break their backs working over-time or 2 jobs for their families they way they used to. Maybe that is a good thing, I don't know. Maybe it is because they know their wife could contribute and make almost as much or more than they can. But, anyway, we feel the pressure. Then come the children. God gave us a nurturing soul. Most of us want our primary job to be taking care of our children. Some people have jobs outside the home that allow them to do that. Some are able to leave the outside job and be stay-at-home moms. Some are stuck in a 40 hour job just trying to make ends meet and take care of their family. Then, there are women like me who work part-time. We feel some financial responsibility toward our families, but we long to be stay-at-home moms. But, I am here to say, despite what the women's libbers (I call them women's fibbers) say, you can't have it all..You can't have the ultimate career and be the ultimate wonderful mom. You may pull it off for awhile, but you have to "give" somewhere. And usually it results in such wear and tear from trying to be superwoman, that you lose your sanity. I personally would like to be a stay at home mom with no financial responsibility to my family, but at the same time, I am so glad that I have a degree and somewhat of a career because my mom struggled to take care of 2 children as a single parent with no education. Still, I am glad that I have chosen to sacrifice material things and my finances for now.
Now, what about my teaching job? I hope to get there when Mu enters school. That is another area I have sacrificed in.
But, I still don't know anything about the job. The big boss may say no, and I may continue to be part-time....Anticipation...I beleive God will work it out for the best....

The Wish List

I don't mean to be a scrooge, but I am so tired of the requests for "just $5" for our Christmas party, decorations, etc. I have about 10 of those requests-you do the math.

I understand that it is Christmas, but I have 2 kids and G's birthday is this weekend. The requests at work really get under my skin. I asked that we just donate something to charity. They did a canned food drive, but then came THE email asking for a $5 donation for decorations and then a $10 donation for gifts for our bosses. THEN yesterday came the email stating that not everyone has contributed and "that really isn't fair". Ok, who asked me if I wanted to decorate or buy my boss a gift? I can do that on my own if I want to.

Again, I am not trying to be a scrooge, but let me just share a little story with you....

There was a lady who decided to follow her "charitable gifts" (that she donated for each person on her gift list) around the world to see if they were actually helping people.

Here is what she found:

$25 BOUGHT A BABY PIG FOR A FAMILY IN CAMBODIA
It became pregnant and they sold the tiny piglets because they needed the money so badly. With the money they are sending their daughters to school.

$25 BOUGHT A GOAT FOR A FAMILY IN SENEGAL
This almost single-handedly lifted a family out of poverty by providing nutritious food and extra income.

$50 BROUGHT CLEAN WATER FOR A FAMILY IN NORTH AFRICA
It is now piped into their house. This family had watched 4 of their children die because of the dirty water they drank. The mom smiled and said, "Maybe now, my children will live."

$100 STARTED A WOMEN'S SMALL BUSINESS IN INDIA
This woman was afraid her children would starve, but this contribution provided the training for her to do beautiful decorative stichery. Today, she able to support her family.

This $50 that I am asked to donate for decorations and gifts that will go mostly unnoticed by "rich" Americans seem so meaningless.

Donny is still cool being white and nerdy

Scrap is just crap

When I was little, we used to go to K-Mart and buy scrapbooks for $5, then fill them up with cut-out pictures of Donny Osmond, Willie Aames, Leif Garrett and Jimmy McNichol. Ok.. Mork from Ork was in a couple of them, but just a couple.
I decided to do a project like that with G. Except instead of Tiger Beat heart-throbs, I thought we would use her artwork and school projects over the past 3 years.

So, I went to Target, my favorite store. No $5 scrapbooks, or even $10 scrapbooks. Only $29.99 scrapbooking kits. Apparently people aren't creative enough to fill scrapbooks with stuff, they need a kit. Well, Target isn't really a crafy store. So, I decided to go to WalMart, not too crafty either really, but they have everything, right? Wrong. Same problem.

I refuse to buy a "kit" and not just because of the price...why? I'll tell you why.
Because back in the 90's when some chick decided to start a scrapbooking store and scrapbooking parties where you LEARNED to scrapbook, she took the fun out of it. I have been part of mom's groups that got together to scrapbook. PLEASE just poke my eyes out with an ice pick-I'd rather. I actually had one of the moms tell me she had so many scrapbooking accessories, she had nowhere to put them all. My scrapbooking accessories fit nicely in a Ziplock bag-scissors and tape.
Why in the DEVIL do you need someone to show you how to scrapbook? After all, it is a S-C-R-A-P book (emphasis on SCRAP). And if you need someone to show you how to put pictures of things you like in a book, why in the DEVIL do you need a kit? I don't need a flippin' kit. I just want a scrapbook with a cover and scrapbook pages in it.

Things that make you go hmmmm...

In about the third grade, you are taught cursive and from there until you finish school, you are required to write in cursive.
As an adult, why is it that every document or form you fill out says "Please print"?

The dream

I think it is fun to interpret dreams. So, help me out with the one that I had last night...

I was in college and 2 of my high school friends were there. Matthew Fox was in my class (yes, from Lost). I was embarrassed because my friends were acting just like they did in high school, and I had a crush on him. He was listening to the instructor intently.
I wanted to talk to him, but I was invisible to him. So, my friend hands me this shoe box FULL of candy. I dig around and get a piece out, and then I say "Matthew, do you want some?"
He looks at me as if I just completely annoyed the hell out of him and shakes his head no.
I was mortified. I was kicking myself because I felt so stupid. Then, my daughter woke me up......

Would the dream have gotten worse or better?

I have another one....I have a recurring dream that I smoke. I have had this dream over several years. I have never smoked in my life. The one time that I tried, I couldn't inhale : ) and I have always thought it was disgusting. I hate the smell of it, and I hate being anywhere near it.
In my dreams, I am loving that I smoke. In fact, I am enjoying the heck out of it. Sometimes I try and hide my cigarettes, but I cannot wait to smoke one. I am usually doing it around someone that I am mad at.

Strange...I have been told by other "dream interpreters" that I am trying to piss someone off...rebellion of some sort...

So, let's hear some of your strange recurring (or just strange) dreams.....please keep them PG rated...

Rambling....

I don't get much alone time. I have about an hour now because hubby took Mu (moo) and G to the store to get Christmas lights.
I have been feeling so out of sorts lately. If I don't get a lot of time to myself, I get cranky and yell alot. I need more time to myself than the average person. Unfortunately, I do not have many babysitters. Hubby trusts about 3 people with our kids. So, I get little 'me' time.
My alone time is in my car on the way to work. It takes me about an hour to get there, and that is where I pray, think, and/or cry, whatever the mood may be. When I get to work, there is not a moment to breathe.
Sometimes when I get time alone at home, I don't know what to do with myself. Sometimes I waste the entire time deciding whether I should do something constructive or be lazy.
I am in the mood to sit in front of the computer and watch video of shows that I missed or read blogs, but with about 20 minutes left, I don't really have the time.
I am told that I will miss these busy times with my kids, and I know I will one day. I have a huge fear of being left on this earth all alone. Before my grandmother died, I remember calling her and telling her I was coming over, and it made her week. She had been a widow for almost 20 years.
But for now, this quiet peace is what I crave....