I did it...I committed to 40 hours a week after 7 years of part-time. On one condition, that I can work 3 days from home. My new boss has to check with his boss but says he thinks he will go for it to get me off of my part-time schedule. It is with the same company, same dept. just a different manager. I have never worked directly for him, but I have known him since I came to work there 8 years ago, and I like his management style MUCH better than my current boss...His employees speak highly of him. You don't find that everyday. And that is certainly not the case with my manager.
He had a job posted, and I went in to ask if he could use a part-time person, and he brought up full-time. When I said, "no", he asked would I consider it if he could get me some work at home days. I panicked after I told him I would do it, but over the past couple of days I have thought about it. If it doesn't work out, then it wasn't meant to be. I have to find childcare for 2 extra days AND his boss has to say yes, so we will see...
I said yes because quite franky, I am tired of being broke! I made the sacrifice to stay home with my kids, and we did okay for a few years, but after hubby got laid off and got shafted by someone he was trying to start a business with, we started going down. We have struggled ever since. He and I discuss full time from time to time, and he says he wants what is best for the kids and ultimately leaves the decision up to me. The problem is, I am the primary breadwinner (working full-time, that is). I struggled for years wishing I wasn't. Wishing I could be a full-time stay at home mom...even resenting him at times. But he never forced the issue of me working.
Can I get on my soapbox for a moment? Thanks
Society has made it nearly impossible for women to make the choice of being a full-time stay at home mom. Now, I believe working outside the home is usually a personal choice, but our tax system, the women's libbers, and many times, the fathers, have put so much pressure on women. We are educated now. We can make almost as much as our male counterparts (that is another soapbox for another day!) In many cases, we are the primary breadwinners. Men just don't break their backs working over-time or 2 jobs for their families they way they used to. Maybe that is a good thing, I don't know. Maybe it is because they know their wife could contribute and make almost as much or more than they can. But, anyway, we feel the pressure. Then come the children. God gave us a nurturing soul. Most of us want our primary job to be taking care of our children. Some people have jobs outside the home that allow them to do that. Some are able to leave the outside job and be stay-at-home moms. Some are stuck in a 40 hour job just trying to make ends meet and take care of their family. Then, there are women like me who work part-time. We feel some financial responsibility toward our families, but we long to be stay-at-home moms. But, I am here to say, despite what the women's libbers (I call them women's fibbers) say, you can't have it all..You can't have the ultimate career and be the ultimate wonderful mom. You may pull it off for awhile, but you have to "give" somewhere. And usually it results in such wear and tear from trying to be superwoman, that you lose your sanity. I personally would like to be a stay at home mom with no financial responsibility to my family, but at the same time, I am so glad that I have a degree and somewhat of a career because my mom struggled to take care of 2 children as a single parent with no education. Still, I am glad that I have chosen to sacrifice material things and my finances for now.
Now, what about my teaching job? I hope to get there when Mu enters school. That is another area I have sacrificed in.
But, I still don't know anything about the job. The big boss may say no, and I may continue to be part-time....Anticipation...I beleive God will work it out for the best....
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6 comments:
Well, after that, I don't know whether to say congratulations or give you sympathy. I know the money is important – especially when none, or not enough, is coming in, but being there for the kids is important, too. Maybe you should work at a daycare center. You could teach there.
I greatly appreciated and was touched by your heartfelt expression of frustration at your present delimma of having to work and wishing you didn't. Perhaps there are some femminist who can successfully juggle a full time career and the awesome duties of being a homemaker, like Martha Stewart. No...wait a minute. They put her in jail. Never mind! Life, unfortuantely, is all about sacrifices,and no one is requied to make greater sacrifices than a Mom who must leave her children in the care of someone else while she enters the unnurturing workforce to keep body, mind and family solvent. I sense, like you, that you believe that God won't lead you into anything that He won't also lead you through. He is working in yours and your family's life. Trust in your good heart and God's belief in you. If you pray for rain, be sure to carry an umbrella.
That would be a huge move. You might like reading this post and the comments below ... although it is about Gen Y, it still brings up some good work-family balance questions: http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/12/the-end-of-work-as-we-know-it.
Boy, do I hear you on this one! My choice to stay home was taken away by divorce when my son was 2. I started my career with two years of college and a ten dollar an hour job. And I've worked up, changed companies and earned two degrees since then. For the last ten years I have been with a company that truly believe that being flexible with their employees is best for the company and that has been great. But, it certainly isn't they same as staying home.
Thanks to you all...
jim..my faith in God is what keeps me sane. He has worked in my life in extraordinary ways. And though I can't answer the question of why he never allowed me to stay home full-time, I know that he builds character thru perseverence. I have had a flexible schedule for 8 years when only one other person in my dept has had the same and she left a few years ago because they wouldn't give her a well deserved promotion...
If I can work from home now, i can do my job in less than 40 hours so I think it is best to stay put for now...
cindy..divorce is definitely another thing that takes staying at home away from a mom. I feel for single moms. I do not know how they do it!!
I struggle with the same issues. I have a part time dead end job and feel trapped...it is certainly discouraging.
Good luck...I am sure you will make the right choice.
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