Saturday, November 17, 2007

Rambling....

I don't get much alone time. I have about an hour now because hubby took Mu (moo) and G to the store to get Christmas lights.
I have been feeling so out of sorts lately. If I don't get a lot of time to myself, I get cranky and yell alot. I need more time to myself than the average person. Unfortunately, I do not have many babysitters. Hubby trusts about 3 people with our kids. So, I get little 'me' time.
My alone time is in my car on the way to work. It takes me about an hour to get there, and that is where I pray, think, and/or cry, whatever the mood may be. When I get to work, there is not a moment to breathe.
Sometimes when I get time alone at home, I don't know what to do with myself. Sometimes I waste the entire time deciding whether I should do something constructive or be lazy.
I am in the mood to sit in front of the computer and watch video of shows that I missed or read blogs, but with about 20 minutes left, I don't really have the time.
I am told that I will miss these busy times with my kids, and I know I will one day. I have a huge fear of being left on this earth all alone. Before my grandmother died, I remember calling her and telling her I was coming over, and it made her week. She had been a widow for almost 20 years.
But for now, this quiet peace is what I crave....

3 comments:

coffeypot said...

You can tell hubby, you have two choices, I can stay here and claw your eyes out and stuff them up your butt, or you can baby-sit for the afternoon while I go for a walk or to the mall or anyplace where I can be alone. Wonder which one he will take? Personally, I like my eyes.

her indoors said...

me time is improtant, i love time alone at home, so set up a day out for the hubby an the kids and then enjoy some home time to relax not to do the chores but for you

Canadian flake said...

My dear gremlins are now teenagers and I still don't miss those "crazy" times. I was a single mom for 8 years while they were babies so I can relate to not having alone time...it used to drive me nutso sometimes..lol.