A woman says to her husband: "I had such a bad day today and such a pounding headache, I wanted to call you to come get me from work."
The husband replies, "You wouldn't be able to get to work on Friday if you left your car."
The correct response would be: "I am sorry you had a bad day." (hug)
This was an actual conversation at my house.
Guys!! You would think after years of training, you would know what to say!!
They need a women's university for men. To learn all about us.
Maybe you know and you just don't care enough to remember?
I don't know! But, dude, try a little.
Remember: If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
I Survived The War
OK! It isn't Valentines Day anymore.
Forgive me for not posting. I have been fighting a war the past week.
The battleground: my home
The army: my family
The enemy: the cold/flu/stomach virus
Battle #1
I woke up to the puking sounds of a 2 year old. I ran, half asleep, like a mad-woman, to keep Mu from puking on the wall, floor, toybox, etc. Only the bed and himself were covered.
Undress him, sponge him off, pull everything off bed, redress him, and make a pallet in the floor while I get new linens for the bed.
Before I could get the bucket for future hurling ready, the puking began again.
Undress, redress, new linens.
We caught it the next two times, but then he said, "I need to go sit on the potty."
HUH? This is my 2 year old who screams "NOOOO!" if you ask him to sit on the potty more than once.
I put him on, and the pooping began. And it went on and on and on. How could a 2 year old have that much sh**? I wondered.
I then thought about my next strategic move. Fluids. I must get fluids.
Knowing juice was bad and water was good, and also knowing he wanted nothing to come near his mouth, I said, "Do you want to make an icee?"
"YAY! Icee!" It was 5:40 am. I had been in battle since 2 am, and I got the great idea to make a damn icee.
This is no easy task. I have a Hawaiian Ice "shaver" which you must crank by hand. The kids love it, but when you have been cleaning poop and puke for 4 hours in the middle of the night, well....
So, he clapped and I cranked, then he knocked over the stool, and hubby came in the kitchen and said, "What in the hell are yall doing?"
Battle #2
Hubby stayed home from work that day because his arm was hurting, and he decided to allow me to sleep after battle #1. It was a good thing he decided to stay home because he began to have chills, cough and ache all over.
Mu, the 2 year old, started going uphill. He was as good as new that afternoon. I felt fine after a few hours of sleep..until I went to bed.
Battle #3
I began to ache and have chills that night and I had that "roller coaster" sleep where you feel like you are falling and wake up over and over again...I popped aspirin and rolled myself up in the heated blanket.
On day 4 I was fine, Mu was fine, G had not caught the germs at all, but hubby was not good. Battle #2 was not over. He continued to ache and cough, but after day 2 of being ill, he headed back to work.
Battle #4
We headed into the weekend, hubby was still not feeling his best but better. Then, G said, "My stomach hurts." She went to bed only to wake me up at 4 am with an aching belly. She said it wasn't nauseous, it just hurt. So, we got the corn bag (exactly what it sounds like, a cloth bag with corn inside. You heat it in the microwave and it works like a heating pad) heated it and put it on her stomach. In about 15 minutes, I heard puking sounds. Luckily, she is the healthiest of us all. After 1 puke and 1 poop, she was her old self.
I survived the war only to return to work to another war with my boss' boss...more about that later...
I must go watch the last episode of LOST....
Forgive me for not posting. I have been fighting a war the past week.
The battleground: my home
The army: my family
The enemy: the cold/flu/stomach virus
Battle #1
I woke up to the puking sounds of a 2 year old. I ran, half asleep, like a mad-woman, to keep Mu from puking on the wall, floor, toybox, etc. Only the bed and himself were covered.
Undress him, sponge him off, pull everything off bed, redress him, and make a pallet in the floor while I get new linens for the bed.
Before I could get the bucket for future hurling ready, the puking began again.
Undress, redress, new linens.
We caught it the next two times, but then he said, "I need to go sit on the potty."
HUH? This is my 2 year old who screams "NOOOO!" if you ask him to sit on the potty more than once.
I put him on, and the pooping began. And it went on and on and on. How could a 2 year old have that much sh**? I wondered.
I then thought about my next strategic move. Fluids. I must get fluids.
Knowing juice was bad and water was good, and also knowing he wanted nothing to come near his mouth, I said, "Do you want to make an icee?"
"YAY! Icee!" It was 5:40 am. I had been in battle since 2 am, and I got the great idea to make a damn icee.
This is no easy task. I have a Hawaiian Ice "shaver" which you must crank by hand. The kids love it, but when you have been cleaning poop and puke for 4 hours in the middle of the night, well....
So, he clapped and I cranked, then he knocked over the stool, and hubby came in the kitchen and said, "What in the hell are yall doing?"
Battle #2
Hubby stayed home from work that day because his arm was hurting, and he decided to allow me to sleep after battle #1. It was a good thing he decided to stay home because he began to have chills, cough and ache all over.
Mu, the 2 year old, started going uphill. He was as good as new that afternoon. I felt fine after a few hours of sleep..until I went to bed.
Battle #3
I began to ache and have chills that night and I had that "roller coaster" sleep where you feel like you are falling and wake up over and over again...I popped aspirin and rolled myself up in the heated blanket.
On day 4 I was fine, Mu was fine, G had not caught the germs at all, but hubby was not good. Battle #2 was not over. He continued to ache and cough, but after day 2 of being ill, he headed back to work.
Battle #4
We headed into the weekend, hubby was still not feeling his best but better. Then, G said, "My stomach hurts." She went to bed only to wake me up at 4 am with an aching belly. She said it wasn't nauseous, it just hurt. So, we got the corn bag (exactly what it sounds like, a cloth bag with corn inside. You heat it in the microwave and it works like a heating pad) heated it and put it on her stomach. In about 15 minutes, I heard puking sounds. Luckily, she is the healthiest of us all. After 1 puke and 1 poop, she was her old self.
I survived the war only to return to work to another war with my boss' boss...more about that later...
I must go watch the last episode of LOST....
Thursday, February 14, 2008
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!
Perhaps the best description of love is found in I Corinthians:
Love is patient
Love is kind
It is not jealous
Love does not brag
And it is not arrogant
Love does not act unbecomingly
It does not seek its own way
It is not provoked
Love does not take into account a wrong suffered
It does not rejoice in unrighteousness
But rejoices in the truth
Love hears all things
Believes all things
Hopes all things
Endures all things
Love never fails
Love is patient
Love is kind
It is not jealous
Love does not brag
And it is not arrogant
Love does not act unbecomingly
It does not seek its own way
It is not provoked
Love does not take into account a wrong suffered
It does not rejoice in unrighteousness
But rejoices in the truth
Love hears all things
Believes all things
Hopes all things
Endures all things
Love never fails
Friday, February 8, 2008
SAWYER'S NICKNAME GENERATOR
Lost fans--Here is a chance to find out what Sawyer would call you if you were so lucky to be dubbed by his seaside surliness:
http://abc.go.com/primetime/lost/index?pn=nickname
Mine was: FERDINAND??
I was hoping for something more like "Peaches".
http://abc.go.com/primetime/lost/index?pn=nickname
Mine was: FERDINAND??
I was hoping for something more like "Peaches".
Thursday, February 7, 2008
The new Lost cast
"You all excited about the 2008 presidential election? There's some interesting potential matchups. For example, Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani. ... On the one hand, you have a pushy New Yorker with a history of marital problems. Or, you have a pushy New Yorker with a history of marital problems." --David Letterman
"Presidential candidate Barack Obama was endorsed by former Senator Tom Daschle of South Dakota. Daschle is the first major Democrat to endorse Obama, and the first person in South Dakota to see a black man." --Conan O'Brien
"Senator Barack Obama has jumped into the presidential race. ... That's the big rumor. Barack will officially announce on the 'Oprah' show. I think Hillary will announce on 'Trading Spouses,' and of course, John Kerry will announce on 'The Biggest Loser.'" --Jay Leno
"Don't worry about Mitt, if this presidential thing doesn't work out he can always go back to playing Victor Newman on the 'Young and the Restless-By the way, if Mitt Romney is elected, he'll be the first president ever sworn in on a copy of GQ." --David Letterman
"Hillary has a big lead in the Democratic race for president. Political insiders are speculating that if Hillary Clinton wins the nomination, she may choose a Hispanic running mate. When he heard about this, Bill Clinton yelled, 'How 'bout Salma Hayek?'" --Conan O'Brien
"Bill Clinton is out there promoting his new book. ... In an interview, former President Bill Clinton says that most people don't know Hillary has the world's best laugh. Bill added, 'I get to hear it every time she pushes me down the stairs.'" --Conan O'Brien
Super Thursday
Wow! It has been awhile!
Let' s see, what has been going on?
I survived Super Tuesday. It took me only 5 minutes to vote!
I survived my Super Bowl party. No alcohol, just too much junk food!
G got all A's on her report card.
I got an excellent annual review at work (My raise will probably be lame, but...)
Mu is sleeping in his own bed--for about 3 weeks now. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be though there were a few rough nights.
My cholesterol level is good (Seriously, I had a check-up last Monday)
My house is a mess and my motivation level to clean it up is a big fat 0!
I lost 3 lbs. woo-hoo!
I am exhausted and really ill right now (PMS).
Let' s see, what has been going on?
I survived Super Tuesday. It took me only 5 minutes to vote!
I survived my Super Bowl party. No alcohol, just too much junk food!
G got all A's on her report card.
I got an excellent annual review at work (My raise will probably be lame, but...)
Mu is sleeping in his own bed--for about 3 weeks now. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be though there were a few rough nights.
My cholesterol level is good (Seriously, I had a check-up last Monday)
My house is a mess and my motivation level to clean it up is a big fat 0!
I lost 3 lbs. woo-hoo!
I am exhausted and really ill right now (PMS).
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