Martha Stewart School for the Crafty Impaired

I am making my 2nd grader's Halloween costume. Not because I am crafty but because there is not a dog costume anywhere this side of the Mississippi.

"I am not crafty" is understatement for me, and let me just give those of you who are a tip:
If you come up with a great idea and are proud enough to post it on the internet, keep in mind that the person searching for your ideas is probably NOT crafty. We need detailed instructions, like those you would give a 1st grader.

When you search for 'kid's dog cosutme', you get things like: buy a brown sweatsuit, pin a couple of socks to a headband for ears, stuff a sock for a tail and draw a ring around one eye with makeup, put dots around the mouth for whiskers. For a crafty person, their child probably looks like a cute puppy. My child looks like a a left-over hippie with a black eye and a five-o-clock shadow.

And the "stuff a sock for a tail" does not work...Maybe it works for a crafty person, but mine looks like a stuffed sock. My 2nd grader took one look and said, "uh, no." So, I stared at it and thought, maybe if I cut it and sew the pieces together. It is too thick. So I am staring and staring and I thought, "Ok, so I will just cut off everything that doesn't look like a dog tail."
So, I did. Then I sewed that together. Then we stuffed it. I am not sure what it looks like, but it isnt a dog's tail. I spent an hour on that, so my 2nd grader graciously accepted it.

We are on to make a collar. No one on the internet told me how to make a collar. I am thinking --old belt maybe. The problem with that is that NOW the left-over hippie looks like she may have taken a trip to the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" in the 80s.

I give up. Maybe we can just throw in a poodle skirt and rename her costume--4 decades of the insanity of my parents and grandparents.